That is perhaps one of the most difficult question to answer. Nobody likes to talk about their own imperfections. But yet, everyone has them. Imperfections, why do they exist? I have no answer for that because I'm not God, but I know that I'm not alone.
Honestly speaking, if you know me, I'm always happy, funny, cheerful, easy-going, friendly and crazy. My friends call me retarded, stupid, silly, irritating, annoying and all the mean words to describe me, but I'm absolutely fine with that. I love my peers. I love people around me. They make me feel happy when I'm around them. I love meeting people.
However, as much as I love meeting all kinds of different people, I also hate it at the same time. Why? I'm glad you asked.
In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. What's mine? My complexion.
You see, when I was in Primary School, everyone calls me the cutie pie. I'm short, small, round like a ball and of course, cute. I was happy that people like being around me. In lower Secondary, it's the same. Just that I'm slightly taller, heavier, bigger, rounder, but then, I'm even cuter. However, in upper Secondary, my face started to have pimples. At first I thought it was just a passing moment of my life, that I'm going through puberty and it's normal. I didn't really bother of course, since that was what my parents say. But, it didn't stop. It continue growing and growing. And until now, I'm still having them.
Every night, I sleep with hopes, hoping that I will wake up with lesser pimples and better complexion. But every day, I wake up in fear and terror when I look in the mirror. Everyone judges in the world, including me. I hate going to school. I hate going out. I even hate facing my own family members because I'm ashamed of what I have on my face.
Facing people became one of the greatest fear in my life. Every day, I'd be afraid that people around me will stare at me because of my complexion. I'd be fearful that my friends will ask me "What happen to your face?" or even telling me straight in my face that my complexion is bad. And yes, of course I know my complexion is bad, I have to look at myself everyday, every single day. The feeling of hating how I look every day became stronger and stronger. Furthermore, it's Chinese New Year period, I'm excited for Chinese New Year every year. But with myself looking like that, how can I look good and feel excited about it?
But no, this isn't the reason why I created this blog. It's not for me to rant, complain or feel unhappy that I look like this.
I want all you people out there to know that you're not alone. Everyone has problems. Everyone has something they can't accept about themselves. Whether it's on the surface or deep down in your heart, it's there. The fact that it's there means that you can't accept it. We're only human, and everyone has the right to be happy and to let people know what you're struggling with.
People know that my complexion is bad, of course, but do they know how I really feel about it? No, they don't. And that is why I created this blog, to let people know that letting others know how you really feel about your problems isn't something to be ashamed of.
Your problems don't define you, your actions to your problems define you.
I'm really fortunate and blessed that I have people around me who accepts me even though I don't look good on the outside. I believe that as long as your heart means well and you're sincere, you're by default beautiful. What's on the outside is on the surface and it wouldn't last forever. Start sharing to people about how you feel, because that is what makes you real. And that is when you'll realise who your true friends really are.
I wouldn't say I'm over my problems. I'm still struggling with it. But I'm glad that I'm not facing it alone because I know the people around me are with me. Therefore, you shouldn't feel alone because you aren't alone. You have the people around you and of course me. Start sharing truthfully. Everyone is different but everyone is also created to be beautiful.
In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. I'll ask again. What's yours?
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