Are we merely following movements, or are we dancing from within?

Hello everyone! I'm back. Just had 3 exam papers back to back and only ended on Friday. Papers were fine because I did study even though it was pretty last minute. :P

Judging from the title do you know what I am going to blog about?

Operation Smile

D3 & MnM

I guess 3rd February 2013 was an eye opener to all of us. It was indeed an exhilarating experience for all of us. And of course to me, this experience will always be in my memory.

I remember how it all started, when we were all awkward especially when MnM (NP Bboys) meet D3 (NP Contemporary), and especially me being awkward and shy. One of the instructions given to the Bboys was that we can't wear our shoes inside the studio. That feeling of discomfort and insecurity of not being able to wear our shoes to dance is the same feeling of not wearing your armor to war.

The choreographers, Sambear, Chermaine, Thomas and Benjamin were really helpful and loving, well sometimes. They were the reason why our performance was so amazing and awesome. Not forgetting Lyana and Ron for their piece that they did, it was really inspiring! And my partner, Susan, is one of the most patient and beautiful dancer I've met, if only she is less annoying and mean towards me. 

Meeting the dancers from D3 was really a great exposure for me. I have learnt so much, and of course, I'm sure the other Bboys did as well. I've learnt that a dancer needs to have discipline. Or else, nothing will progress and nothing will be efficient. Being an idiot, I pretty much have no discipline in dancing before this collaboration. I didn't know the importance of warm ups until that day we spent 30 minutes warming up. And now, I appreciate warm ups, but if they aren't too long and painful la. 

From the day that we started training till the day we performed, I've never regretted any of that. Because not only that I was doing what I love, I was also glad to meet new people and also learnt so much about another genre's culture. It was great to have such a valuable experience that I wouldn't trade anything else for. All of you dancers were great. Supporting and encouraging each other, and accepting each and everyone for the way they are.

I was not only glad but I'm also grateful to all of you for making me feel better each time I felt down. And after dancing and spending time with all of you, I have learnt so much more about life and also about what we love to do most, Dance.

The reason why I dance, isn't about fame or reputation. Well, when I first started, of course it was because it is attractive. For me, dancing makes me feel good. It allows me to express myself and also to learn more about life. Living a life is all about learning, and you never stop learning in life. That is also the reason why I'm not going to stop dancing because I don't want to stop learning.

After being through this performance for close to 3 months, all of you have taught me so much. Those that you've taught me didn't only benefit me in dance itself, but also in my attitude towards life and dance. Thank you so much for everything D3 & MnM.

Besides learning only from the dancers, I have also learnt from Operation Smile and the purpose of it. Not everyone is born perfect and fortunate. The whole idea of Operation Smile was to give children born with cleft lip a chance and opportunity to look better and smile. Self-esteem and confidence is very important in society. Don't lie to yourself but, don't you think looks really do matter everywhere you go? Operation Smile taught me that everyone plays a part in making the world a better place. For the concert itself, the Organisers play a part, the Dancers play a part, the Backstage Crew plays a part and most importantly, the Audience plays a part. Without any of them, there will be no show, no money raised and ultimately no opportunity for more kids to smile.

I've learnt from Church that, being able to give means that you're blessed. It always feel better to give than to receive. Because only when you're blessed, then you have the ability to give. Start doing something. Something small can make a big difference in someone's life. Visit this website for more details on Operation Smile : Operationsmile.org.sg

Anyway, I'd like to thank Brenda, Edward, Clarissa, Sarah Ann, Brenna and Eugene for coming down to support me and of course Operation Smile. It was great seeing all of you and I'm happy that you guys are able to witness me doing what I love to do most, to dance.

And after the whole of Operation Smile, I realised that the dance movements shouldn't be the one that stand out during the performance. It's the expression of the reasons why we started dancing in the first place.

Have a great holiday people :)

This is the link for the whole Operation Smile 2013 Performance, check it out! 

What ship can bring you to anywhere in the world?

What is your answer? The answer is relationship. Yes, your relationship with people.

Your relationship with people can bring you anywhere and everywhere. To the nearest and also the furthest places. Wherever you want to go, you'd be able to go. And I'm not talking about relationship as in Boy-Girl Relationship, it's everything. Your family, friends and your lover.

To me, your relationship with people is the second most important. The first would be your own character. Because your character is the one that forms the relationships with other people.

What is relationship to you? Relationship to me is the connection between you and another person or any people. And why relationship is so important? God didn't create us to be lonely or to be alone. If we're called to do so, God would have only created you and not anybody else.

As most of you all know, I love to talk. I wouldn't dare to say that I have strong relationship with the people around me but I would dare to admit that it's easy for me to start a relationship(friendship terms) with anybody/everybody I meet. However, starting isn't the key factor of this whole post. What I feel that is the most tiring, difficult but yet enjoyable, is the part when both parties try to maintain the relationship.

Relationship takes two hands to clap. Which also means that both parties have to make an effort to keep it going and progressing. And I feel that as you grow older, there will be more relationships that you will make. But at the same time, as more relationships you made, you'd have lesser time for every relationship.

Whether a relationship is currently progressing greatly, no progression at all or it ended up badly, I can proudly say I have never regretted the decision that I started with anyone that I've met. And that includes you, my very very best friend.

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You're like a brother to me. More than a brother actually. We do gay stuffs together. We can just talk shit together. We can laugh, be angry, be sad, be irritating and be annoying together. We've been through a lot together. 7 years and still counting. But is it really still counting? Does it really count? I hate to admit it but we aren't as close any more.

When we see each other in school, we don't even have much to say. It's like we used to be so close before we it's now awkward for us to see each other. All we say when we see each other is " Hi, Bye, What are you doing here? Where are you going?" and that's all. I hate this part but it's all we do now. I really miss those times we could just talk about anything and any shit and we won't run of anything to say.

I've learnt a lot from you. You always take care of me. And when people bully me, you'd stand up for me. I wouldn't blame anyone for what happened now but I know that before we drift apart, it's my fault. But for now, I guess it's no one's fault.

People change. That's a fact and it'll always be a fact. I change, you change, our relationship change. Although now we aren't as close any more, but I'd like you to know that you'll always be my brother, my best friend and my crazy asshole freaking irritating and annoying jerk.

And I've got a lot of hopes..

I really hope to see you this Sunday because we haven't met and chat for a long time. I also hope to see you back in church one day. You're the one who brought me in, I really hate to say this but it really isn't the same without you. I really hope that things will get better. And I know it will if you'd come back to church again.. and lastly, I hope you'd read this. Thank you for everything and our memories that we have will always stay.

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Remember that your relationship with people is very important! Start sharing with each other if things don't work out and start to fall out. 

Have a good day everyone. And oh yah, Happy Chinese New Year! :)

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. What's yours?

That is perhaps one of the most difficult question to answer. Nobody likes to talk about their own imperfections. But yet, everyone has them. Imperfections, why do they exist? I have no answer for that because I'm not God, but I know that I'm not alone.

Honestly speaking, if you know me, I'm always happy, funny, cheerful, easy-going, friendly and crazy. My friends call me retarded, stupid, silly, irritating, annoying and all the mean words to describe me, but I'm absolutely fine with that. I love my peers. I love people around me. They make me feel happy when I'm around them. I love meeting people.

However, as much as I love meeting all kinds of different people, I also hate it at the same time. Why? I'm glad you asked.

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. What's mine? My complexion.

You see, when I was in Primary School, everyone calls me the cutie pie. I'm short, small, round like a ball and of course, cute. I was happy that people like being around me. In lower Secondary, it's the same. Just that I'm slightly taller, heavier, bigger, rounder, but then, I'm even cuter. However, in upper Secondary, my face started to have pimples. At first I thought it was just a passing moment of my life, that I'm going through puberty and it's normal. I didn't really bother of course, since that was what my parents say. But, it didn't stop. It continue growing and growing. And until now, I'm still having them.

Every night, I sleep with hopes, hoping that I will wake up with lesser pimples and better complexion. But every day, I wake up in fear and terror when I look in the mirror. Everyone judges in the world, including me. I hate going to school. I hate going out. I even hate facing my own family members because I'm ashamed of what I have on my face.

Facing people became one of the greatest fear in my life. Every day, I'd be afraid that people around me will stare at me because of my complexion. I'd be fearful that my friends will ask me "What happen to your face?" or even telling me straight in my face that my complexion is bad. And yes, of course I know my complexion is bad, I have to look at myself everyday, every single day. The feeling of hating how I look every day became stronger and stronger. Furthermore, it's Chinese New Year period, I'm excited for Chinese New Year every year. But with myself looking like that, how can I look good and feel excited about it?

But no, this isn't the reason why I created this blog. It's not for me to rant, complain or feel unhappy that I look like this.

I want all you people out there to know that you're not alone. Everyone has problems. Everyone has something they can't accept about themselves. Whether it's on the surface or deep down in your heart, it's there. The fact that it's there means that you can't accept it. We're only human, and everyone has the right to be happy and to let people know what you're struggling with.

People know that my complexion is bad, of course, but do they know how I really feel about it? No, they don't. And that is why I created this blog, to let people know that letting others know how you really feel about your problems isn't something to be ashamed of.

Your problems don't define you, your actions to your problems define you.

I'm really fortunate and blessed that I have people around me who accepts me even though I don't look good on the outside. I believe that as long as your heart means well and you're sincere, you're by default beautiful. What's on the outside is on the surface and it wouldn't last forever. Start sharing to people about how you feel, because that is what makes you real. And that is when you'll realise who your true friends really are.

I wouldn't say I'm over my problems. I'm still struggling with it. But I'm glad that I'm not facing it alone because I know the people around me are with me. Therefore, you shouldn't feel alone because you aren't alone. You have the people around you and of course me. Start sharing truthfully. Everyone is different but everyone is also created to be beautiful. 

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. I'll ask again. What's yours?