WHY DANCE?

NRA Solo Auditions for Danzation

Before you read this post, I hope you'll watch this video if you haven't, thank you!
(If you can't watch it on your mobile phone,  try this link or watch it on your computer!)

I think it has probably been some time since I posted how I really felt about things that were going on in my life. You may have actually seen the picture and the essay with it after I posted on Instagram/Facebook. This post will even been more essay-like, and since when I do short posts? Hardly. (The link to the picture is here)

So I present to you,

THE JOURNEY: SEEKING THE DANCING DRAGON IN ME (PART ONE)

When I was 5!

Honestly speaking, I had the time of my life when I was on stage doing the solo auditions for this year's Danzation. I'm not a good dancer, and I never said I was. I'm a freaking Dancing Dragon, D. Dragon, Dancing D, D.D, Dope Dancer. 

I never knew what dance actually is until really recent, like the start of 2013. I always thought dancers look cool, especially Bboys/Break-dancers, and that is why I went to learn Bboying first. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, I always liked attention. Since young, since long time ago, I really love attention. I want people to notice me, to know that I exist, and to think that I'm great, cool, smart or whatever that sets an positive impression. Of course, I thought that learning how to dance, will make me even cooler.

I got introduced to Bboy Taisuke (my favourite Bboy of all time) by Denise Tan. Yup, Denise from Mighty Nomads! The cool Bgirl with the green dip-dyed hair. I knew her because we were in the same Secondary School.

Denise Tan Zhu Wei

She showed me a video of him breaking and I instantly want to learn breaking because of him! So I started attending Bboy lessons at Natasha Studio at the end of Secondary 4 while waiting for my 'N' Level results. Bboying is hella difficult. Yeah Toprocks look easy, Footwork are meh, Freezes are cool, and Powermoves are the shit that get the girls. However I was wrong wrong wrong ultimate wrong. Everything is so difficult to learn. I took 2 weeks to get the easiest freeze, Baby Freeze. And the worst part? I had nobody to learn Bboy with me. Hence, no motivation, no discipline and no encouragement. 

I stopped taking up lessons after 2 months as they were far and I feel that I don't practise at all so it's a waste of money. I told myself to forget about being cooler since I was already cool. But I still watch Bboy videos time to time because I really want to learn it, and all I thought being cool was what I wanted from Bboying.

There were a few times when my church was holding dance auditions for events. I went for twice and both of them I got rejected. I thought dance wasn't for me. I thought God didn't want me to dance since I got rejected by the church twice too. Hence, I just stopped thinking about dancing because I know I would be wasting my time if I go against what God wants me to.

Fast forward to after 'O' Levels when I received my results. L1R4 was 15 points. I have no CCA when I was in Secondary School. Except for Military Band when I was in Secondary 1. But I got GOLD for SYF 2006 okay?! I was Eligible for many courses. I knew I wanted Ngee Ann Polytechnic because it's like the hipster school (now it still is).

PLEASE TAKE NOTE, THIS IS ACTUALLY MY LIFE-CHANGING MOMENT.

My first choice was Hotel & Leisure Facilities Management in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. (COP is 15)
My second choice was Bio-molecular Engineering I think, in Ngee Ann Polytechnic also. (COP is 15)
My third choice was Business Information Technology, in Ngee Ann Polytechnic also, which also is my current course. (COP is 15)

I was certain that I'd get in my first choice. Because I love to help people. I always love to extend my helping hand to people who need help, that's why I chose this as my first choice as I'd be working in a service industry in the future. My next 2 choices I didn't really bother about it but I had to put them because I had to and my results was just nice for the COP. So, I knew I definitely will get into my first choice.

On the day of submission for choices, my mum called me and woke me up in the morning. She told me that Bio-molecular Engineering may not be something that I'd like to take as I hate studying. So she told me she want to swap my second choice and third choice. So Business Information Technology was my new second choice. But still, I didn't really bother because I know I confirm sure guarantee plus chop, double chop, triple chop and chicken chop that I will get in Hotel & Leisure Facilities Management. Therefore, I submitted my choices like that and the other 9 choices that were not important.

Fast forward to the day when results were released. I just woke up for my part time job and I received an SMS.

"CHUA WEI LIANG BRENDON, YOU'VE BEEN POSTED TO NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC, BUSINESS INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY"

讲真的!?!?!?! (ARE YOU SERIOUS? // ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??)

Like I said, I never liked studying. Business Information Technology....... really really?????

So as what all popular kids (more like kaypo) would do, you go around asking people what school they got into. One of my Bros (Classmates for 5 years in Secondary School), Edward Tew ___ ___ ___..(please fill in the blanks! >> Of course it's Edward Tew You're The Best!) is in the same course as me! I mean, to have someone you super comfortable with in the same course as you, you'd feel better even though the course you get into isn't what you wanted.

Edward Tewwwwww

So what can I do? Bo bian (no choice) what, accept my fate.

Fast forward to the day when your BAOC Student Coordinator call you to inform you for Orientation. 

AND GUESS WHAT! I GOT INTO THE SAME BAOC GROUP, TECKTONIK, AS EDWARD ALSO. And that's not all. When we checked our MeL class list, we realised we are in the same class. Wow, and for BA, you get to choose your timetable after every semester. And yes, we're still in the same class now despite being in Year 3 already! Magical right?

So we went to BAOC Day 1 together. We were in the different sub groups though. So I played bonding games with my group. And standard standard, have to share your hobby. And I don't know why, even though I haven't danced for a long time during that time, I said bboying was my hobby. So the group went "WAHHHH" and guess what? That is my reaction too when people tell me when they are Bboys in the past.

At the end of the first day, they actually gathered everyone and ask if anyone is interested to perform for the performance that is on the third day. They mentioned that they needed 3 Bboys for the performance. Then how? Ya lor, kena sabo lor. Edward and some of my subgroup members (if I can remember), actually shouted my name and said that I could Bboy. I was damn paiseh even though I wanted attention. Because I know I haven't practise for a long time and I wasn't even good in the first place.

So this dope Bboy I have a lot of respect for, Bboy Ji Xiang, was the choreographer for the Bboy segment for the performance. He taught the 3 of us the steps and everything. Even though he is so dope, he is really encouraging. And that made him so inspirational!

xiang9292

Who ever knew, that on the first week of school, you get to perform on Ngee Ann Polytechnic's biggest stage, The Convention Centre. And not only a normal performance, but me performing as a Bboy. (I feel like my tears are coming out when I typed this, reminiscing the moments and good old times.

Fast forward to after BAOC performance!

I was invited to this Facebook group named "NP Bboys" by Ji Xiang. He told me that this group was created to reach out to all the Bboys in Ngee Ann Poly, and gathering them together to dance at an open area. As there was no Bboy CCA in NP when I was in Year 1, we did not have any dance studios. We only had this place where most of us regarded home, Caterpillar Cove.

"Back at where it all started"

You will never imagine how I felt when I first stepped in there. You see Bboys chilling and dance to the music. You see Bboys spinning around. You see Bboy holding handstands that seemed forever. There was the place I met so many Bboys who inspired me to be a better dancer. I learnt from them, break with them, joke and laugh with them. Back then, we were an anonymous club because we were not recognised as a CCA.

And if you're wondering if I got to perform for church, I didn't get to perform for any huge event in my church. But I got to perform for my Life Group event, Acts 2 Family Day! On that day, not only did I get to perform for God, my parents were there to watch too! I performed along side with Denise Tan and Gabriel Kau. Gabriel Kau was also from the same class as me from Secondary 1 to 5. He's not only my best friend, he's my best gay partner, best bro and best everything. He was the one who told me so much about Jesus.

Gaybriel and Burdon.
Yes, I used to dye my hair black. Ah stupid mistake.

Remembered I said that I had nobody to dance with that's why I didn't have any motivation to continue learning? This guy joined me and the rest at Caterpillar Cove to break. He didn't have a strong interest in dance. He didn't have the passion. He didn't have any background either. But all he had, was love and support for this little guy over here, trying his best to break out of his comfort zone to learn something new because he enjoys it. Gabriel joined us and learn how to dance because I've always wanted to learn it. I told him so much and shared with him so many videos. To show his support and encouragement, he took it up and learnt it with me. He would be annoying and irritating, taunting me to dance battle him and then we will all laugh about all the stupid things we did. All along, I knew that he didn't have a really strong interest like me. But I know he loves me like how I always love him. Thank you so much brother, I've never once forgotten what you've done for me.

There is this awesome guy, Bboy Yu Han. He never gave up and persevere to create a home for all the Mighty Nomads. He and some other senior Bboys went to propose to start our club as a CCA despite being rejected many times.

Founder of Mighty Nomads, Chong Yu Han

And finally, MIGHTY NOMADS IS OFFICIALLY RECOGNISED AS A CCA IN NP! We were happy of course. Apart of getting CCA points for doing what we like (HEHE I'm hitting GOLD!), we have a dance studio for us to dance in, we are able to spread the culture of Hip Hop (Yes, Bboying is one of the elements of Hip Hop) to everyone freely, we are able to perform for the school, to raise awareness that we are here, to teach and cultivate people who are interested. 

And that's the story of how I got to know Mighty Nomads, how Mighty Nomads became an official club for all Bboys and Bgirls and how I got to be part of this awesome family. That's the story of how I started dancing (again). 

Okay I'm done with Part One of my extremely long essay-like blog post. Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me. I encourage all of you, if you have something to say or share, let it be known. Because you never know that one day, you might end up encouraging and inspiring someone. Leave any comments in the comment section if you have something to ask/say, I'll reply when I see them :)

SO LONG EVERYONE, STAY TUNED TO - 

THE JOURNEY: SEEKING THE DANCING DRAGON IN ME (PART TWO)

//

I believe that this journey, was already planned out by God, leading me back to dance. I've learnt so much. God taught me to be patient, because good things are worth the wait. God taught me to appreciate people around me, because He never wanted me to be alone. God taught me that if it's for you, it's for you. I know that without God, things would be so much different now. I'm glad that I trusted in Him, because He's the way, the truth and the life. 

And after all that I've done, is it ever enough?

LISTEN TO THIS! SO DOPE!

Anyway just wanna let you guys know that I'm doing fine. Better than ever. But also feeling weak sometimes. I'm having holidays now but it doesn't feel like holidays to me honestly.

LIFE UPDATE TIME!

NRA BONDING CAMP 2013!

GRYFFINDOR!

This was the camp I attended as a Year 3 Freshie. Honestly, it feels so different attending a camp as a Year 3 Freshie. You feel old, you feel out of breath, you feel tired and you feel like everyone hates you for being lazy. But one thing for sure is that as a year 3, whatever you say, your fellow group mates and group leaders will laugh for sure! Tested and proven ;) hor Darren Lee? I attended this camp with Darren Lee in Gryffindor too but another sub tribe. We both are Year 3 and we sure are lazy. But somehow, we enjoyed this camp pretty much a lot even though we are grumpy and sleepy most of the time... Hehe Cheers Gryffindor, thanks for the great time!

TURQUOISE HAIR FINALLY!

My Professional Hairdresser!

Closer view of my hair!

And if you realised, I have dyed my hair again! This time it's not just green! (although it's fading to green now..) My hair is turquoise! It's kinda like ombre from green to turquoise! And I have to thank this girl for patiently bleaching my hair and dyeing my hair for 3 whole hours! Yay! Finally got the hair colour I wanted. Anyway the top two pictures are like 2 weeks ago. Now close to 3 weeks have passed and of course my hair has grew longer and faded.. (SAD)

Did you notice my new header picture right there? Hehe it was taken during a recent Bboy Jam that I've attended. YESSSSS!

NTU BBOY JAM 2013!

Pocketful of Sunshine!

I just attended my first ever Bboy Battle/Competition. It was NTU Bboy Jam and you bet, I had lots of fun! I was really nervous and crazy anxious in the beginning, but after I went out for my first round, I wanted more! But too bad, I didn't get into the Top 16. Everyone there was dope as hell! Learned so much and feel so inspired to work really hard to be stronger and better! Of course, I wanna thank Mighty Nomads so so much for making me into someone I am today. And love you both Samuel and Denise, for being such lovable friends and dancers and teammates to be around with!

BC2 TRIAL CAMP!

It faded into this shit! Can't believe it.

I took this during my BC2 Trial Camp. HEHE. And this is your sexy ass Camp Chief. Anyway, I'm all pumped up for Mighty Nomads Bonding Camp 2 this coming week. Are you guys ready? Had trial camp last week and there were so many problems that we encountered. However, guess what? God is good, all the time. I'm glad God provided me the strength and the people around me to oversee everything! Honestly, BC2 will be damn dope!!!

#RADCON2013

GREEN GEEKY GRIN!

Attended Radical Conference 2013 yesterday! Haha it was awesome! Been so long since I last went to church and listened to the Word due to my commitments. I feel all hydrated again with His blessings and everything. And look, my hair became greener and less turquoiser. Sigh! But I'm glad that my hair lasted this long and not like that stupid broccoli that turned yellow in less than a week. It's already close to 3 weeks since I last dyed my hair! Guess I'm going to dye it again soon ~ And I have new specs! Is it nice? I think it's nice. It's nice!

With this silly girl!

Can't be more grateful and thankful towards God for blessing me with this little silly angel! She's always there for me, encouraging me that God is here whenever I encounter problems. Knowing that she's there is an assurance that everything is going to be fine! Thank You God for this wonderful girl! :D

The Walking Dead Video Game!

Lee & Clementine <3

Been playing this game for a few days after BC2 Trial Camp and I can say this game is one of the best I ever played. It made me feel scared, emotional, happy, love, timid and everything you can feel as a human being. You guys should try this game out!!! But beware, it's pretty freaky sometimes!  

I shall go do my stupid WISP already... sigh. I don't know why holidays must have holiday homework. I know I sound like a primary school kid now. But stupid WISP, I love Wisp though..

IO THE GUARDIAN WISP

Do you guys know I'm actually joining a competition soon? It's a Dota competition, after BC2 next sunday! Oh well hahahha I know I sound nerd now but shut up! Nobody likes you >:(

I will be joining an Allstyles competition too on 13th July. Stay tuneeeee.

See ya guys, have a good holiday.

Now don't you understand? I'm never changing who I am.

Sorry for the long disappearance.

May was really busy for me. And now, it's Common Test week.

I have so much to update but I can't do it now because I need to study... (I hate studying..)

Enjoy this song in the meantime.

P.S Imagine Dragons is really great.

Why do you have green hair?

Okay, I'm sick and tired of people asking me why I have green hair and stuffs like that.

It's enough. I had enough and I shall finally tell you guys why.

One of my closest friend has cancer and has to go through chemotherapy. Therefore, she has no hair on her head now. To support and encourage her, a few close friends and I dyed our hair green because it is her favourite colour.

So stop trying to judge me and say that I want attention when that is not the case. Stop it! It's not funny calling me broccoli, grass or any other vegetable because you're destroying me and my friend.

---

Hehe just kidding, I really just want attention.

HELLO GUYS. There is a reason why I didn't blog for around 2 weeks. Not because I don't love you guys any more but because blogging is lame.

Kidding again. I just finished performing for NP50 Charity Performance!!!!!!!!!!

I honestly never had so much fun performing. And of course I was super tired during the period of time due to rehearsals EVERY SINGLE DAY. But that's fine, I'm doing what I love and it's not for myself only. And remember the previous post I mentioned that my back is injured? I have fully recovered just 2 days before the performance and it's all thanks to God!

So many people I wanna thank, but then some things are just hard to express. One of the most special people I wanna thank is Kay!

Kay is my instructor for one of the item during the performance, Canteen Scene. I had so much fun doing that choreography, but so much pain doing the warm ups that she led. But it really did help me for my stretching and flexibility. Thank you so much Kay for being such a great teacher!!! Whatever I wanted to say, I have already said. I'm just upset that we didn't get to take a photo together :<

Amazing Partner, Susan/Suat Kee!

Next person I want to personally thank is SUSAN. Yep, she is my dance partner for both Operation Smile and NP50! See? We are so charitable! She is damn understanding and because of my back injury, there were a few times during rehearsals that we can't go full out. She is super caring and she always ask me to take care. But then truth is, she is the heavy one and it's because of her that my back is injured!!! Haha just kidding. She's an awesome partner and she's not heavy. It's just I'm too weak :( Thank you for your Hershey's and super loving letter!

My lovely Princess!

And of course, the most important of all, my lovely princess, BRENDA LILLIPUT. Thank you for always being there for me, being understanding and being loving! She's the one who helped me dye my hair green and always cooking for me Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner/Supper on different days even though she has class early in the morning. Thank you for being so sweet and not complain and give me back massages, love notes, flower, ice cream cones and plenty of your love. Thank you so so much! I love you <3

The people from Canteen Scene!

Stupid Denise, late for the previous photo! If not I already used that :P

Just wanna give a big shout out to the people from Canteen Scene for the endless fun and encouragement! I had lots of fun training with you guys! It was a tough period of time for me during trainings at the start but you guys weren't judgemental and enjoyed being with me! Thank you guys for your patience and laughters!

My dearest MNM Family without Daryl Lau cos he decided to disappear everytime we take picture!

This is the group of people who brought me up today. They watch me come out from inside my turtle shell to someone who is outside my turtle shell now. Thank you guys for always supporting and encouraging me, allowing me to truly be who I am and accepting me wholeheartedly. Just wanna let you guys know that MNM is and will always be my family because you guys are my roots. I grew from you guys and there's nowhere else that I wanna grow out from except from my mother's umbilical cord. Love you guys, forever! <3

Specially for you Daryl Lau <3

Videos for our performances are up on Kay's YouTube Channel and my Facebook Wall. Check out D3's performance also because they did really well on both nights!

This period of time was indeed tough but enjoyable at the same time. Really never regretted to perform and work with all these people for NP50! Happy 50th Anniversary Ngee Ann Poly! It's through God's grace that I have this opportunity to perform for such a large scale event with a huge crowd! Also I wanna specially thank Jermayne, En Qi, Daddy Chua, Mummy Chua and LilliputHuh for coming down to support me!

*Update* OH YA and did I MENTION THAT I MET MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND DURING THIS NP50 PERFORMANCE. AND GUESS WHAT. SHE IS IN THE SAME ITEM AS ME FOR CANTEEN SCENE BUT I ONLY REALISED IT AFTER THE PERFORMANCE. MEANS I THROUGH OUT TRAININGS AND REHEARSALS FOR 2 MONTHS I DIDN'T KNOW AND TALK TO HER LIKE SHE IS MY NEW FRIEND. GOOD JOB DANCING DRAGON WOOHOO. OKAY HER NAME IS NATALIE AND SHE'S PRETTY COOL. LIKE PRETTY AND COOL.

Okay yay double page views since you guys gonna view my blog again just for this part. yay yay

#supportbroccolimovement #votebrendonforpresident #hugsandkisses

Year 3, yay or nay?

HOLA!

School has reopened, how is everyone doing? I'm already Year 3, 20 this year. Oh my oh my, so old already... Anyway I've got good news!

I've tried for NRA Auditions and I've got in! I know I know, you guys confirm judging me right now.

"Wah, you Year 3 already still join NRA for what??"

For me, I guess I'm pretty much a late bloomer. Although I started bboying before I started poly and stopped for damn long, I never knew how much dance could mean to me. Only last year, I then realised it. Therefore, I'm going to learn many many techniques from many many genres to improve myself since I love to freestyle! Nobody is too late for anything right? I don't wanna stick to only bboying but that doesn't mean I will forget about bboying. I will never do that.

As a dancer, you should never ever forget your roots! Because that's where you come from, that's what you did that made you who you are today! A Bboy is a dancer, but a dancer is not a Bboy. I wanna be a dancer, but bboying will always be the first genre that I LOVE because it allowed me to know so many wonderful people who influenced me to who I am today.

Anyway, I think I'm injured lately. I don't know whether it's a physical injury but when I take deep breaths or move my body, my chest and back will feel compressed and there will be a sharp pain. Anyone had similar situations before? I need prayers guys. NP50 Charity Performance is just next week, need to recover before the performance so I will not let my fellow dancers down!

Speaking of NP50 Charity Performance, have you gotten your tickets yet?
30th April and 1st May there will be a performance to celebrate Ngee Ann Poly's 50th Anniversary! Come and watch before so many people and CCAs are performing! :D

More information here:
http://www.np.edu.sg/np50/Documents/content/celebrate_30apr.html#charity

Okay thank you guys for reading! Praise God for everything He has done in my life!

By the way, I'm updating my blog during lessons cause I'm having my IS... Mobile Robotics. No, don't ask.

KIDDING - I LOVE LEGOS.

How do you feel when you're dancing?

HEY WHAT'S UP!

MNM BAOC'2013 Performance!

Yeah, I know I know. It's been a really long time since I last updated. It's been a month. And I'll blog about my testimony another time because I have to do some changes to it.

Holidays are coming to an end and this is my last 2 months holiday I'll be able to enjoy before I graduate from Poly. "WHY? I thought still got August-October holidays??" I'll be starting my 6 months internship during September all the way to February. Yay or Nay? I really don't know but I sure am looking forward to it.

This 2 months of holiday would really be my most painful, happy, busy, tiring but FUN holiday. I honestly have gone through a lot during this period of time. From me losing my confidence and security during the beginning and me gaining it back and being able to be myself again today. Through out this 2 months, I lost a lot, but have also gained a lot. And yes, I think that included my weight as well.

I'm so happy to be able to dance almost everyday even though it's really tiring. However, I'm doing something I love which is really really amazing. I have just completed two performances of the same choreography for FOCAS & BAOC. The video will be available below! And during this period of time, I'm also training and practicing for another two choreography for NP50 performance! And it will probably be my last performance until a few months because I want to take a break to break(bboy)! Haha get it get it??

Anyway, we just had Bboy NaugtyOne's workshop in our own studio just this Monday. It was really awesome as I learned a lot from him. He's so inspiring. Never feel that you're stuck or you're not improving. If you feel that way, then you're really stuck and not improving. Do what you're doing everyday, enjoy and love this dance.

"Why get so stressed out because of dance? You dance because you love it!"
"When you feel like dancing, dance! When you don't feel like, chill!" - Bboy NaugtyOne

We also had Ken Swift Workshop earlier in March. And I have also learned about the early days and culture of Bboying. When what everyone loves to do is to dance and enjoy!

I'm really honoured and happy to be part of this dance culture. I'm really proud and this is like a dream come true. A few years ago, I was timid and reserved. I wouldn't dare to show much or be myself that much because people are watching. But dance made my inner beast, Dancing Dragon, to unleash to the fullest potential, to entertain and make people happy. I really love dancing, because it makes me feel free, it makes me be who I really am! And I'm glad I have my loved ones supporting, encouraging and motivating me in whatever I do. Thank you very much, I love all of you.

Okay, shall end off already. Stay tuned for more updates! I'm in pink jeans by the way! 

How much faster can time fly?

Hola everyone. I guess today I shall just do a quick update on what is going on with my life. (YAY!)

It's already March, which means one quarter of the year 2013 has already passed. And it feels like I'm still in 2012.

Can you believe it? I'm already 20 this year. And no, I can't believe it either. When I was younger, I always wonder how it feels like to be 20, an adult already. Guess what? It doesn't feel good or fun at all. I'm going to start Year 3 in Polytechnic in roughly about 1 month time. Honestly speaking, this is how fast time flies. It feels just like yesterday that I just started attending my first day of Polytechnic education, in Business & Accountancy Orientation Camp.

Right now, I'm just dancing almost everyday. And of course dotaing. And dating. And hanging out with people I love.

Soon enough, it will be 12th March 2013, and it also means that I've been together with Brenziboomz for officially 1 year. Yay! Speaking of that, she's leaving to Myanmar for two weeks on 16th March. Oh well, I guess there won't be anyone cleaning up my room, wardrobe and giving me massages when my body aches for 2 weeks...

Though I promised myself that Operation Smile was going to be my last performance, being able to perform in a happy and fresh choreography broke my own promise. I'm going to perform for Ngee Ann Polytechnic's 50th Anniversary. And even though training is really really tough, but honestly I enjoy every moment of it. Because I'm doing what I love most with people around me that are encouraging and supportive!

I also want to thank God for everything that's happening in my life right now. Even though my complexion isn't completely healed yet, God revealed to me so many things around me. Like how the outward appearance don't matter because what God sees is your character. Also the people around me who encourages me when I'm feeling down. Thank You God for everything. For my family, friends and also Brenziboomz. For giving me the opportunity to dance to glorify Your Name.

Just something personal: I realised when I play DOTA recently. I became more competitive. It feels like I lost the meaning of having fun in the first place. I feel like I'm using it to escape from my reality and to achieve satisfaction by winning. However, it's all virtual. I guess in games, even if you lose, you can hit restart. If you win, you just feel good until you lose again. But in life, I can't hit restart. The way I look, whatever I said, whatever I did, I can't hit restart. So whatever happens, I'm going to just let it be and accept it. Because sometimes when you try to take control over things you can't, you're going to end up having a bad time dealing with the disappointments that shouldn't be there in the first place. And for DOTA, I guess I'll just have fun and be less competitive. Because only when you enjoy something, then you'll excel in it. I'm glad that I'm not competitive in Dance because I don't want to ever lose the reason why I started dancing in the first place, to express myself and glorify God.

I feel like I have so much to accomplish this year. Let me list them down..

• Take part in my first ever official Bboy Battle for exposure and fun
• Sleep before 12am every night (It never does happen.)
• Be confident again like a Dancing Dragon (I feel like I have lost confidence due to my complexion)
• Set up a DOTA team maybe?
• Do well for Semester 3.1 and Internship in Semester 3.2 (Did I mention that I'll be interning for 6 months?)
• Share with more people about my life story
• Build relationship with the people around me
• Glorify, praise and worship God in every way I can
• Take up more dance genre to increase my dance vocabulary since I love to freestyle
• Update my blog frequently...(hahaha)
• Love Brenziboomz more!

Honestly speaking, I have always wanted to start a YouTube channel.. like do video blogs (Vlogs) and dance videos. But I don't feel confident due to my complexion. But once it gets better, I will do it! (or at least try!) :D

Okay I guess that's all for my quick update. I shall update my blog on my testimony next week! Stay tuned.

Shall end it off with this quote by Joyce Meyer:

"If you want a testimony, you are going to have a test." - Joyce Meyer

Are we merely following movements, or are we dancing from within?

Hello everyone! I'm back. Just had 3 exam papers back to back and only ended on Friday. Papers were fine because I did study even though it was pretty last minute. :P

Judging from the title do you know what I am going to blog about?

Operation Smile

D3 & MnM

I guess 3rd February 2013 was an eye opener to all of us. It was indeed an exhilarating experience for all of us. And of course to me, this experience will always be in my memory.

I remember how it all started, when we were all awkward especially when MnM (NP Bboys) meet D3 (NP Contemporary), and especially me being awkward and shy. One of the instructions given to the Bboys was that we can't wear our shoes inside the studio. That feeling of discomfort and insecurity of not being able to wear our shoes to dance is the same feeling of not wearing your armor to war.

The choreographers, Sambear, Chermaine, Thomas and Benjamin were really helpful and loving, well sometimes. They were the reason why our performance was so amazing and awesome. Not forgetting Lyana and Ron for their piece that they did, it was really inspiring! And my partner, Susan, is one of the most patient and beautiful dancer I've met, if only she is less annoying and mean towards me. 

Meeting the dancers from D3 was really a great exposure for me. I have learnt so much, and of course, I'm sure the other Bboys did as well. I've learnt that a dancer needs to have discipline. Or else, nothing will progress and nothing will be efficient. Being an idiot, I pretty much have no discipline in dancing before this collaboration. I didn't know the importance of warm ups until that day we spent 30 minutes warming up. And now, I appreciate warm ups, but if they aren't too long and painful la. 

From the day that we started training till the day we performed, I've never regretted any of that. Because not only that I was doing what I love, I was also glad to meet new people and also learnt so much about another genre's culture. It was great to have such a valuable experience that I wouldn't trade anything else for. All of you dancers were great. Supporting and encouraging each other, and accepting each and everyone for the way they are.

I was not only glad but I'm also grateful to all of you for making me feel better each time I felt down. And after dancing and spending time with all of you, I have learnt so much more about life and also about what we love to do most, Dance.

The reason why I dance, isn't about fame or reputation. Well, when I first started, of course it was because it is attractive. For me, dancing makes me feel good. It allows me to express myself and also to learn more about life. Living a life is all about learning, and you never stop learning in life. That is also the reason why I'm not going to stop dancing because I don't want to stop learning.

After being through this performance for close to 3 months, all of you have taught me so much. Those that you've taught me didn't only benefit me in dance itself, but also in my attitude towards life and dance. Thank you so much for everything D3 & MnM.

Besides learning only from the dancers, I have also learnt from Operation Smile and the purpose of it. Not everyone is born perfect and fortunate. The whole idea of Operation Smile was to give children born with cleft lip a chance and opportunity to look better and smile. Self-esteem and confidence is very important in society. Don't lie to yourself but, don't you think looks really do matter everywhere you go? Operation Smile taught me that everyone plays a part in making the world a better place. For the concert itself, the Organisers play a part, the Dancers play a part, the Backstage Crew plays a part and most importantly, the Audience plays a part. Without any of them, there will be no show, no money raised and ultimately no opportunity for more kids to smile.

I've learnt from Church that, being able to give means that you're blessed. It always feel better to give than to receive. Because only when you're blessed, then you have the ability to give. Start doing something. Something small can make a big difference in someone's life. Visit this website for more details on Operation Smile : Operationsmile.org.sg

Anyway, I'd like to thank Brenda, Edward, Clarissa, Sarah Ann, Brenna and Eugene for coming down to support me and of course Operation Smile. It was great seeing all of you and I'm happy that you guys are able to witness me doing what I love to do most, to dance.

And after the whole of Operation Smile, I realised that the dance movements shouldn't be the one that stand out during the performance. It's the expression of the reasons why we started dancing in the first place.

Have a great holiday people :)

This is the link for the whole Operation Smile 2013 Performance, check it out! 

What ship can bring you to anywhere in the world?

What is your answer? The answer is relationship. Yes, your relationship with people.

Your relationship with people can bring you anywhere and everywhere. To the nearest and also the furthest places. Wherever you want to go, you'd be able to go. And I'm not talking about relationship as in Boy-Girl Relationship, it's everything. Your family, friends and your lover.

To me, your relationship with people is the second most important. The first would be your own character. Because your character is the one that forms the relationships with other people.

What is relationship to you? Relationship to me is the connection between you and another person or any people. And why relationship is so important? God didn't create us to be lonely or to be alone. If we're called to do so, God would have only created you and not anybody else.

As most of you all know, I love to talk. I wouldn't dare to say that I have strong relationship with the people around me but I would dare to admit that it's easy for me to start a relationship(friendship terms) with anybody/everybody I meet. However, starting isn't the key factor of this whole post. What I feel that is the most tiring, difficult but yet enjoyable, is the part when both parties try to maintain the relationship.

Relationship takes two hands to clap. Which also means that both parties have to make an effort to keep it going and progressing. And I feel that as you grow older, there will be more relationships that you will make. But at the same time, as more relationships you made, you'd have lesser time for every relationship.

Whether a relationship is currently progressing greatly, no progression at all or it ended up badly, I can proudly say I have never regretted the decision that I started with anyone that I've met. And that includes you, my very very best friend.

---

You're like a brother to me. More than a brother actually. We do gay stuffs together. We can just talk shit together. We can laugh, be angry, be sad, be irritating and be annoying together. We've been through a lot together. 7 years and still counting. But is it really still counting? Does it really count? I hate to admit it but we aren't as close any more.

When we see each other in school, we don't even have much to say. It's like we used to be so close before we it's now awkward for us to see each other. All we say when we see each other is " Hi, Bye, What are you doing here? Where are you going?" and that's all. I hate this part but it's all we do now. I really miss those times we could just talk about anything and any shit and we won't run of anything to say.

I've learnt a lot from you. You always take care of me. And when people bully me, you'd stand up for me. I wouldn't blame anyone for what happened now but I know that before we drift apart, it's my fault. But for now, I guess it's no one's fault.

People change. That's a fact and it'll always be a fact. I change, you change, our relationship change. Although now we aren't as close any more, but I'd like you to know that you'll always be my brother, my best friend and my crazy asshole freaking irritating and annoying jerk.

And I've got a lot of hopes..

I really hope to see you this Sunday because we haven't met and chat for a long time. I also hope to see you back in church one day. You're the one who brought me in, I really hate to say this but it really isn't the same without you. I really hope that things will get better. And I know it will if you'd come back to church again.. and lastly, I hope you'd read this. Thank you for everything and our memories that we have will always stay.

---

Remember that your relationship with people is very important! Start sharing with each other if things don't work out and start to fall out. 

Have a good day everyone. And oh yah, Happy Chinese New Year! :)

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. What's yours?

That is perhaps one of the most difficult question to answer. Nobody likes to talk about their own imperfections. But yet, everyone has them. Imperfections, why do they exist? I have no answer for that because I'm not God, but I know that I'm not alone.

Honestly speaking, if you know me, I'm always happy, funny, cheerful, easy-going, friendly and crazy. My friends call me retarded, stupid, silly, irritating, annoying and all the mean words to describe me, but I'm absolutely fine with that. I love my peers. I love people around me. They make me feel happy when I'm around them. I love meeting people.

However, as much as I love meeting all kinds of different people, I also hate it at the same time. Why? I'm glad you asked.

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. What's mine? My complexion.

You see, when I was in Primary School, everyone calls me the cutie pie. I'm short, small, round like a ball and of course, cute. I was happy that people like being around me. In lower Secondary, it's the same. Just that I'm slightly taller, heavier, bigger, rounder, but then, I'm even cuter. However, in upper Secondary, my face started to have pimples. At first I thought it was just a passing moment of my life, that I'm going through puberty and it's normal. I didn't really bother of course, since that was what my parents say. But, it didn't stop. It continue growing and growing. And until now, I'm still having them.

Every night, I sleep with hopes, hoping that I will wake up with lesser pimples and better complexion. But every day, I wake up in fear and terror when I look in the mirror. Everyone judges in the world, including me. I hate going to school. I hate going out. I even hate facing my own family members because I'm ashamed of what I have on my face.

Facing people became one of the greatest fear in my life. Every day, I'd be afraid that people around me will stare at me because of my complexion. I'd be fearful that my friends will ask me "What happen to your face?" or even telling me straight in my face that my complexion is bad. And yes, of course I know my complexion is bad, I have to look at myself everyday, every single day. The feeling of hating how I look every day became stronger and stronger. Furthermore, it's Chinese New Year period, I'm excited for Chinese New Year every year. But with myself looking like that, how can I look good and feel excited about it?

But no, this isn't the reason why I created this blog. It's not for me to rant, complain or feel unhappy that I look like this.

I want all you people out there to know that you're not alone. Everyone has problems. Everyone has something they can't accept about themselves. Whether it's on the surface or deep down in your heart, it's there. The fact that it's there means that you can't accept it. We're only human, and everyone has the right to be happy and to let people know what you're struggling with.

People know that my complexion is bad, of course, but do they know how I really feel about it? No, they don't. And that is why I created this blog, to let people know that letting others know how you really feel about your problems isn't something to be ashamed of.

Your problems don't define you, your actions to your problems define you.

I'm really fortunate and blessed that I have people around me who accepts me even though I don't look good on the outside. I believe that as long as your heart means well and you're sincere, you're by default beautiful. What's on the outside is on the surface and it wouldn't last forever. Start sharing to people about how you feel, because that is what makes you real. And that is when you'll realise who your true friends really are.

I wouldn't say I'm over my problems. I'm still struggling with it. But I'm glad that I'm not facing it alone because I know the people around me are with me. Therefore, you shouldn't feel alone because you aren't alone. You have the people around you and of course me. Start sharing truthfully. Everyone is different but everyone is also created to be beautiful. 

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. I'll ask again. What's yours?