Why do you have green hair?

Okay, I'm sick and tired of people asking me why I have green hair and stuffs like that.

It's enough. I had enough and I shall finally tell you guys why.

One of my closest friend has cancer and has to go through chemotherapy. Therefore, she has no hair on her head now. To support and encourage her, a few close friends and I dyed our hair green because it is her favourite colour.

So stop trying to judge me and say that I want attention when that is not the case. Stop it! It's not funny calling me broccoli, grass or any other vegetable because you're destroying me and my friend.

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Hehe just kidding, I really just want attention.

HELLO GUYS. There is a reason why I didn't blog for around 2 weeks. Not because I don't love you guys any more but because blogging is lame.

Kidding again. I just finished performing for NP50 Charity Performance!!!!!!!!!!

I honestly never had so much fun performing. And of course I was super tired during the period of time due to rehearsals EVERY SINGLE DAY. But that's fine, I'm doing what I love and it's not for myself only. And remember the previous post I mentioned that my back is injured? I have fully recovered just 2 days before the performance and it's all thanks to God!

So many people I wanna thank, but then some things are just hard to express. One of the most special people I wanna thank is Kay!

Kay is my instructor for one of the item during the performance, Canteen Scene. I had so much fun doing that choreography, but so much pain doing the warm ups that she led. But it really did help me for my stretching and flexibility. Thank you so much Kay for being such a great teacher!!! Whatever I wanted to say, I have already said. I'm just upset that we didn't get to take a photo together :<

Amazing Partner, Susan/Suat Kee!

Next person I want to personally thank is SUSAN. Yep, she is my dance partner for both Operation Smile and NP50! See? We are so charitable! She is damn understanding and because of my back injury, there were a few times during rehearsals that we can't go full out. She is super caring and she always ask me to take care. But then truth is, she is the heavy one and it's because of her that my back is injured!!! Haha just kidding. She's an awesome partner and she's not heavy. It's just I'm too weak :( Thank you for your Hershey's and super loving letter!

My lovely Princess!

And of course, the most important of all, my lovely princess, BRENDA LILLIPUT. Thank you for always being there for me, being understanding and being loving! She's the one who helped me dye my hair green and always cooking for me Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner/Supper on different days even though she has class early in the morning. Thank you for being so sweet and not complain and give me back massages, love notes, flower, ice cream cones and plenty of your love. Thank you so so much! I love you <3

The people from Canteen Scene!

Stupid Denise, late for the previous photo! If not I already used that :P

Just wanna give a big shout out to the people from Canteen Scene for the endless fun and encouragement! I had lots of fun training with you guys! It was a tough period of time for me during trainings at the start but you guys weren't judgemental and enjoyed being with me! Thank you guys for your patience and laughters!

My dearest MNM Family without Daryl Lau cos he decided to disappear everytime we take picture!

This is the group of people who brought me up today. They watch me come out from inside my turtle shell to someone who is outside my turtle shell now. Thank you guys for always supporting and encouraging me, allowing me to truly be who I am and accepting me wholeheartedly. Just wanna let you guys know that MNM is and will always be my family because you guys are my roots. I grew from you guys and there's nowhere else that I wanna grow out from except from my mother's umbilical cord. Love you guys, forever! <3

Specially for you Daryl Lau <3

Videos for our performances are up on Kay's YouTube Channel and my Facebook Wall. Check out D3's performance also because they did really well on both nights!

This period of time was indeed tough but enjoyable at the same time. Really never regretted to perform and work with all these people for NP50! Happy 50th Anniversary Ngee Ann Poly! It's through God's grace that I have this opportunity to perform for such a large scale event with a huge crowd! Also I wanna specially thank Jermayne, En Qi, Daddy Chua, Mummy Chua and LilliputHuh for coming down to support me!

*Update* OH YA and did I MENTION THAT I MET MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND DURING THIS NP50 PERFORMANCE. AND GUESS WHAT. SHE IS IN THE SAME ITEM AS ME FOR CANTEEN SCENE BUT I ONLY REALISED IT AFTER THE PERFORMANCE. MEANS I THROUGH OUT TRAININGS AND REHEARSALS FOR 2 MONTHS I DIDN'T KNOW AND TALK TO HER LIKE SHE IS MY NEW FRIEND. GOOD JOB DANCING DRAGON WOOHOO. OKAY HER NAME IS NATALIE AND SHE'S PRETTY COOL. LIKE PRETTY AND COOL.

Okay yay double page views since you guys gonna view my blog again just for this part. yay yay

#supportbroccolimovement #votebrendonforpresident #hugsandkisses

Year 3, yay or nay?

HOLA!

School has reopened, how is everyone doing? I'm already Year 3, 20 this year. Oh my oh my, so old already... Anyway I've got good news!

I've tried for NRA Auditions and I've got in! I know I know, you guys confirm judging me right now.

"Wah, you Year 3 already still join NRA for what??"

For me, I guess I'm pretty much a late bloomer. Although I started bboying before I started poly and stopped for damn long, I never knew how much dance could mean to me. Only last year, I then realised it. Therefore, I'm going to learn many many techniques from many many genres to improve myself since I love to freestyle! Nobody is too late for anything right? I don't wanna stick to only bboying but that doesn't mean I will forget about bboying. I will never do that.

As a dancer, you should never ever forget your roots! Because that's where you come from, that's what you did that made you who you are today! A Bboy is a dancer, but a dancer is not a Bboy. I wanna be a dancer, but bboying will always be the first genre that I LOVE because it allowed me to know so many wonderful people who influenced me to who I am today.

Anyway, I think I'm injured lately. I don't know whether it's a physical injury but when I take deep breaths or move my body, my chest and back will feel compressed and there will be a sharp pain. Anyone had similar situations before? I need prayers guys. NP50 Charity Performance is just next week, need to recover before the performance so I will not let my fellow dancers down!

Speaking of NP50 Charity Performance, have you gotten your tickets yet?
30th April and 1st May there will be a performance to celebrate Ngee Ann Poly's 50th Anniversary! Come and watch before so many people and CCAs are performing! :D

More information here:
http://www.np.edu.sg/np50/Documents/content/celebrate_30apr.html#charity

Okay thank you guys for reading! Praise God for everything He has done in my life!

By the way, I'm updating my blog during lessons cause I'm having my IS... Mobile Robotics. No, don't ask.

KIDDING - I LOVE LEGOS.

How do you feel when you're dancing?

HEY WHAT'S UP!

MNM BAOC'2013 Performance!

Yeah, I know I know. It's been a really long time since I last updated. It's been a month. And I'll blog about my testimony another time because I have to do some changes to it.

Holidays are coming to an end and this is my last 2 months holiday I'll be able to enjoy before I graduate from Poly. "WHY? I thought still got August-October holidays??" I'll be starting my 6 months internship during September all the way to February. Yay or Nay? I really don't know but I sure am looking forward to it.

This 2 months of holiday would really be my most painful, happy, busy, tiring but FUN holiday. I honestly have gone through a lot during this period of time. From me losing my confidence and security during the beginning and me gaining it back and being able to be myself again today. Through out this 2 months, I lost a lot, but have also gained a lot. And yes, I think that included my weight as well.

I'm so happy to be able to dance almost everyday even though it's really tiring. However, I'm doing something I love which is really really amazing. I have just completed two performances of the same choreography for FOCAS & BAOC. The video will be available below! And during this period of time, I'm also training and practicing for another two choreography for NP50 performance! And it will probably be my last performance until a few months because I want to take a break to break(bboy)! Haha get it get it??

Anyway, we just had Bboy NaugtyOne's workshop in our own studio just this Monday. It was really awesome as I learned a lot from him. He's so inspiring. Never feel that you're stuck or you're not improving. If you feel that way, then you're really stuck and not improving. Do what you're doing everyday, enjoy and love this dance.

"Why get so stressed out because of dance? You dance because you love it!"
"When you feel like dancing, dance! When you don't feel like, chill!" - Bboy NaugtyOne

We also had Ken Swift Workshop earlier in March. And I have also learned about the early days and culture of Bboying. When what everyone loves to do is to dance and enjoy!

I'm really honoured and happy to be part of this dance culture. I'm really proud and this is like a dream come true. A few years ago, I was timid and reserved. I wouldn't dare to show much or be myself that much because people are watching. But dance made my inner beast, Dancing Dragon, to unleash to the fullest potential, to entertain and make people happy. I really love dancing, because it makes me feel free, it makes me be who I really am! And I'm glad I have my loved ones supporting, encouraging and motivating me in whatever I do. Thank you very much, I love all of you.

Okay, shall end off already. Stay tuned for more updates! I'm in pink jeans by the way! 

How much faster can time fly?

Hola everyone. I guess today I shall just do a quick update on what is going on with my life. (YAY!)

It's already March, which means one quarter of the year 2013 has already passed. And it feels like I'm still in 2012.

Can you believe it? I'm already 20 this year. And no, I can't believe it either. When I was younger, I always wonder how it feels like to be 20, an adult already. Guess what? It doesn't feel good or fun at all. I'm going to start Year 3 in Polytechnic in roughly about 1 month time. Honestly speaking, this is how fast time flies. It feels just like yesterday that I just started attending my first day of Polytechnic education, in Business & Accountancy Orientation Camp.

Right now, I'm just dancing almost everyday. And of course dotaing. And dating. And hanging out with people I love.

Soon enough, it will be 12th March 2013, and it also means that I've been together with Brenziboomz for officially 1 year. Yay! Speaking of that, she's leaving to Myanmar for two weeks on 16th March. Oh well, I guess there won't be anyone cleaning up my room, wardrobe and giving me massages when my body aches for 2 weeks...

Though I promised myself that Operation Smile was going to be my last performance, being able to perform in a happy and fresh choreography broke my own promise. I'm going to perform for Ngee Ann Polytechnic's 50th Anniversary. And even though training is really really tough, but honestly I enjoy every moment of it. Because I'm doing what I love most with people around me that are encouraging and supportive!

I also want to thank God for everything that's happening in my life right now. Even though my complexion isn't completely healed yet, God revealed to me so many things around me. Like how the outward appearance don't matter because what God sees is your character. Also the people around me who encourages me when I'm feeling down. Thank You God for everything. For my family, friends and also Brenziboomz. For giving me the opportunity to dance to glorify Your Name.

Just something personal: I realised when I play DOTA recently. I became more competitive. It feels like I lost the meaning of having fun in the first place. I feel like I'm using it to escape from my reality and to achieve satisfaction by winning. However, it's all virtual. I guess in games, even if you lose, you can hit restart. If you win, you just feel good until you lose again. But in life, I can't hit restart. The way I look, whatever I said, whatever I did, I can't hit restart. So whatever happens, I'm going to just let it be and accept it. Because sometimes when you try to take control over things you can't, you're going to end up having a bad time dealing with the disappointments that shouldn't be there in the first place. And for DOTA, I guess I'll just have fun and be less competitive. Because only when you enjoy something, then you'll excel in it. I'm glad that I'm not competitive in Dance because I don't want to ever lose the reason why I started dancing in the first place, to express myself and glorify God.

I feel like I have so much to accomplish this year. Let me list them down..

• Take part in my first ever official Bboy Battle for exposure and fun
• Sleep before 12am every night (It never does happen.)
• Be confident again like a Dancing Dragon (I feel like I have lost confidence due to my complexion)
• Set up a DOTA team maybe?
• Do well for Semester 3.1 and Internship in Semester 3.2 (Did I mention that I'll be interning for 6 months?)
• Share with more people about my life story
• Build relationship with the people around me
• Glorify, praise and worship God in every way I can
• Take up more dance genre to increase my dance vocabulary since I love to freestyle
• Update my blog frequently...(hahaha)
• Love Brenziboomz more!

Honestly speaking, I have always wanted to start a YouTube channel.. like do video blogs (Vlogs) and dance videos. But I don't feel confident due to my complexion. But once it gets better, I will do it! (or at least try!) :D

Okay I guess that's all for my quick update. I shall update my blog on my testimony next week! Stay tuned.

Shall end it off with this quote by Joyce Meyer:

"If you want a testimony, you are going to have a test." - Joyce Meyer

Are we merely following movements, or are we dancing from within?

Hello everyone! I'm back. Just had 3 exam papers back to back and only ended on Friday. Papers were fine because I did study even though it was pretty last minute. :P

Judging from the title do you know what I am going to blog about?

Operation Smile

D3 & MnM

I guess 3rd February 2013 was an eye opener to all of us. It was indeed an exhilarating experience for all of us. And of course to me, this experience will always be in my memory.

I remember how it all started, when we were all awkward especially when MnM (NP Bboys) meet D3 (NP Contemporary), and especially me being awkward and shy. One of the instructions given to the Bboys was that we can't wear our shoes inside the studio. That feeling of discomfort and insecurity of not being able to wear our shoes to dance is the same feeling of not wearing your armor to war.

The choreographers, Sambear, Chermaine, Thomas and Benjamin were really helpful and loving, well sometimes. They were the reason why our performance was so amazing and awesome. Not forgetting Lyana and Ron for their piece that they did, it was really inspiring! And my partner, Susan, is one of the most patient and beautiful dancer I've met, if only she is less annoying and mean towards me. 

Meeting the dancers from D3 was really a great exposure for me. I have learnt so much, and of course, I'm sure the other Bboys did as well. I've learnt that a dancer needs to have discipline. Or else, nothing will progress and nothing will be efficient. Being an idiot, I pretty much have no discipline in dancing before this collaboration. I didn't know the importance of warm ups until that day we spent 30 minutes warming up. And now, I appreciate warm ups, but if they aren't too long and painful la. 

From the day that we started training till the day we performed, I've never regretted any of that. Because not only that I was doing what I love, I was also glad to meet new people and also learnt so much about another genre's culture. It was great to have such a valuable experience that I wouldn't trade anything else for. All of you dancers were great. Supporting and encouraging each other, and accepting each and everyone for the way they are.

I was not only glad but I'm also grateful to all of you for making me feel better each time I felt down. And after dancing and spending time with all of you, I have learnt so much more about life and also about what we love to do most, Dance.

The reason why I dance, isn't about fame or reputation. Well, when I first started, of course it was because it is attractive. For me, dancing makes me feel good. It allows me to express myself and also to learn more about life. Living a life is all about learning, and you never stop learning in life. That is also the reason why I'm not going to stop dancing because I don't want to stop learning.

After being through this performance for close to 3 months, all of you have taught me so much. Those that you've taught me didn't only benefit me in dance itself, but also in my attitude towards life and dance. Thank you so much for everything D3 & MnM.

Besides learning only from the dancers, I have also learnt from Operation Smile and the purpose of it. Not everyone is born perfect and fortunate. The whole idea of Operation Smile was to give children born with cleft lip a chance and opportunity to look better and smile. Self-esteem and confidence is very important in society. Don't lie to yourself but, don't you think looks really do matter everywhere you go? Operation Smile taught me that everyone plays a part in making the world a better place. For the concert itself, the Organisers play a part, the Dancers play a part, the Backstage Crew plays a part and most importantly, the Audience plays a part. Without any of them, there will be no show, no money raised and ultimately no opportunity for more kids to smile.

I've learnt from Church that, being able to give means that you're blessed. It always feel better to give than to receive. Because only when you're blessed, then you have the ability to give. Start doing something. Something small can make a big difference in someone's life. Visit this website for more details on Operation Smile : Operationsmile.org.sg

Anyway, I'd like to thank Brenda, Edward, Clarissa, Sarah Ann, Brenna and Eugene for coming down to support me and of course Operation Smile. It was great seeing all of you and I'm happy that you guys are able to witness me doing what I love to do most, to dance.

And after the whole of Operation Smile, I realised that the dance movements shouldn't be the one that stand out during the performance. It's the expression of the reasons why we started dancing in the first place.

Have a great holiday people :)

This is the link for the whole Operation Smile 2013 Performance, check it out! 

What ship can bring you to anywhere in the world?

What is your answer? The answer is relationship. Yes, your relationship with people.

Your relationship with people can bring you anywhere and everywhere. To the nearest and also the furthest places. Wherever you want to go, you'd be able to go. And I'm not talking about relationship as in Boy-Girl Relationship, it's everything. Your family, friends and your lover.

To me, your relationship with people is the second most important. The first would be your own character. Because your character is the one that forms the relationships with other people.

What is relationship to you? Relationship to me is the connection between you and another person or any people. And why relationship is so important? God didn't create us to be lonely or to be alone. If we're called to do so, God would have only created you and not anybody else.

As most of you all know, I love to talk. I wouldn't dare to say that I have strong relationship with the people around me but I would dare to admit that it's easy for me to start a relationship(friendship terms) with anybody/everybody I meet. However, starting isn't the key factor of this whole post. What I feel that is the most tiring, difficult but yet enjoyable, is the part when both parties try to maintain the relationship.

Relationship takes two hands to clap. Which also means that both parties have to make an effort to keep it going and progressing. And I feel that as you grow older, there will be more relationships that you will make. But at the same time, as more relationships you made, you'd have lesser time for every relationship.

Whether a relationship is currently progressing greatly, no progression at all or it ended up badly, I can proudly say I have never regretted the decision that I started with anyone that I've met. And that includes you, my very very best friend.

---

You're like a brother to me. More than a brother actually. We do gay stuffs together. We can just talk shit together. We can laugh, be angry, be sad, be irritating and be annoying together. We've been through a lot together. 7 years and still counting. But is it really still counting? Does it really count? I hate to admit it but we aren't as close any more.

When we see each other in school, we don't even have much to say. It's like we used to be so close before we it's now awkward for us to see each other. All we say when we see each other is " Hi, Bye, What are you doing here? Where are you going?" and that's all. I hate this part but it's all we do now. I really miss those times we could just talk about anything and any shit and we won't run of anything to say.

I've learnt a lot from you. You always take care of me. And when people bully me, you'd stand up for me. I wouldn't blame anyone for what happened now but I know that before we drift apart, it's my fault. But for now, I guess it's no one's fault.

People change. That's a fact and it'll always be a fact. I change, you change, our relationship change. Although now we aren't as close any more, but I'd like you to know that you'll always be my brother, my best friend and my crazy asshole freaking irritating and annoying jerk.

And I've got a lot of hopes..

I really hope to see you this Sunday because we haven't met and chat for a long time. I also hope to see you back in church one day. You're the one who brought me in, I really hate to say this but it really isn't the same without you. I really hope that things will get better. And I know it will if you'd come back to church again.. and lastly, I hope you'd read this. Thank you for everything and our memories that we have will always stay.

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Remember that your relationship with people is very important! Start sharing with each other if things don't work out and start to fall out. 

Have a good day everyone. And oh yah, Happy Chinese New Year! :)

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. What's yours?

That is perhaps one of the most difficult question to answer. Nobody likes to talk about their own imperfections. But yet, everyone has them. Imperfections, why do they exist? I have no answer for that because I'm not God, but I know that I'm not alone.

Honestly speaking, if you know me, I'm always happy, funny, cheerful, easy-going, friendly and crazy. My friends call me retarded, stupid, silly, irritating, annoying and all the mean words to describe me, but I'm absolutely fine with that. I love my peers. I love people around me. They make me feel happy when I'm around them. I love meeting people.

However, as much as I love meeting all kinds of different people, I also hate it at the same time. Why? I'm glad you asked.

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. What's mine? My complexion.

You see, when I was in Primary School, everyone calls me the cutie pie. I'm short, small, round like a ball and of course, cute. I was happy that people like being around me. In lower Secondary, it's the same. Just that I'm slightly taller, heavier, bigger, rounder, but then, I'm even cuter. However, in upper Secondary, my face started to have pimples. At first I thought it was just a passing moment of my life, that I'm going through puberty and it's normal. I didn't really bother of course, since that was what my parents say. But, it didn't stop. It continue growing and growing. And until now, I'm still having them.

Every night, I sleep with hopes, hoping that I will wake up with lesser pimples and better complexion. But every day, I wake up in fear and terror when I look in the mirror. Everyone judges in the world, including me. I hate going to school. I hate going out. I even hate facing my own family members because I'm ashamed of what I have on my face.

Facing people became one of the greatest fear in my life. Every day, I'd be afraid that people around me will stare at me because of my complexion. I'd be fearful that my friends will ask me "What happen to your face?" or even telling me straight in my face that my complexion is bad. And yes, of course I know my complexion is bad, I have to look at myself everyday, every single day. The feeling of hating how I look every day became stronger and stronger. Furthermore, it's Chinese New Year period, I'm excited for Chinese New Year every year. But with myself looking like that, how can I look good and feel excited about it?

But no, this isn't the reason why I created this blog. It's not for me to rant, complain or feel unhappy that I look like this.

I want all you people out there to know that you're not alone. Everyone has problems. Everyone has something they can't accept about themselves. Whether it's on the surface or deep down in your heart, it's there. The fact that it's there means that you can't accept it. We're only human, and everyone has the right to be happy and to let people know what you're struggling with.

People know that my complexion is bad, of course, but do they know how I really feel about it? No, they don't. And that is why I created this blog, to let people know that letting others know how you really feel about your problems isn't something to be ashamed of.

Your problems don't define you, your actions to your problems define you.

I'm really fortunate and blessed that I have people around me who accepts me even though I don't look good on the outside. I believe that as long as your heart means well and you're sincere, you're by default beautiful. What's on the outside is on the surface and it wouldn't last forever. Start sharing to people about how you feel, because that is what makes you real. And that is when you'll realise who your true friends really are.

I wouldn't say I'm over my problems. I'm still struggling with it. But I'm glad that I'm not facing it alone because I know the people around me are with me. Therefore, you shouldn't feel alone because you aren't alone. You have the people around you and of course me. Start sharing truthfully. Everyone is different but everyone is also created to be beautiful. 

In life, there will definitely be something you cannot accept about yourself. I'll ask again. What's yours?